Ultimate Day of Eating

I picked this up from Can You Stay for Dinner? : What would you eat on your last day of Earth?

Considering I've been talking about death lately, might as well enjoy the thoughts, right? 

Breakfast would definitely be Daddy McMuffin's, a recipe my dad (obviously) came up with ages ago: beaten eggs poured over english muffins, topped with onions, cheese, and bacon; then stuck in the oven to bake. So filling & delicious, hot or cold.

I've never been a big on lunch, it's not my favorite meal, to be honest. So I'm skipping it here.

My idea of an ideal dinner sounds silly, but oh well. My mom's recipe for meatloaf, with fluffy mashed potatoes, and fresh green beans.

Dessert would be the simple deliciousness of homemade vanilla ice cream with fresh strawberries or blackberries. Or, my husband's amazing homemade cream puffs, which are simply divine.

Beating the Odds?

As my birthday fast approaches, I must admit to being more than a little apprehensive. I've had nervous butterflies in my stomach since earlier this spring - more than 6 months before my 34th birthday. (I'm not one of those women who think it's necessary to hide or lie about my age. Who gives a flip?)

Yes, I'm nervous about being another year older, but not in the way you'd think.

I honestly never thought I would live past 33.

I've never had cancer, or a health condition that would limit my life expectancy. I've never been a "risk-taker" who skydives or plays extreme sports. Though I'm not particularly graceful, I've never been super accident-prone. I've never broken a bone, or had major surgery.

So what's the problem?

This isn't a feeling that came on after my mom's death, but rather an intuition, a feeling that I've had since my teen years. A feeling that I would die relatively young. For years, it's been in the back of my brain, counting down the time left until the year 33 was here and gone. For every stupid thing I've ever done, for all the dumb decisions I've made in my life, I've thought, "Oh well, it's not like I've got a lot of time left anyway."

But now, with two beautiful kids on earth, two in heaven, and a husband who is my rock, I'm terrified that this is it. Terrified of leaving them. Terrified of death. Terrified of the beyond.

Because as much as I've had this feeling more than half my life, you'd think that I'd be taking better care of myself spiritually. You'd be wrong. My spiritual life hasn't been in this bad of shape for quite some time. I've been so apathetic lately, so twisted and turned around, that I haven't been able to pray or go to Confession.

This isn't too surprising. I've wavered from scrupulous about my spiritual life to terribly apathetic since my reversion. I just can't seem to let go of anxieties and worries when it comes to my spiritual life, which tends to drag me down. I can literally leave confession and feel "clean" for a whole 10 minutes, then walk out of the church and feel anxiety all over again.

Hubster keeps joking that I'm going to have a stroke before I'm 40, but I don't know how much of a "joke" it is.  He said something to me last night that I've been thinking about, something to the effect of, "It seems like you won't let yourself be happy." I didn't know how to answer him.

I am constantly worried, tightly wound person. I always have been, and it seems like it is only getting worse with age. I don't want to be pushing people away with my negativity or anxiety. I don't know if it's connected to my feelings of dying young, or what. I wouldn't even know where to begin being happy. It's not just a matter of relaxing, but an interior change that I don't know how to make or if I even want to.

Please pray for me, for peace of mind, for happiness, and for long life.

3 1/2 Time-Outs Tuesday

1. The title of yesterday's post was a little boring, I admit. While my second choice of "It's Madness; Madness, I Tell You" might have been more catchy, it was also slightly less descriptive.

2. I'm excited for this coming fall. I'm going to be doing some schooling with my two kiddos, and I'm taking some classes at the local adult education center.

3. Two of those classes are wine classes. Another class is on guns, gun safety, etc, and qualifies as a CCW license class. Gotta keep my priorities straight.

3.5. I'm also taking a few classes on knitting/embroidery. I'd like to learn as a way to relax and unwind.

Thanks to LarryD for hosting!

The Church, the State, and Marriage, Part One

Ranter's note: This is the first in a two-part series about the state defining marriage. This first article, by Johnny Peters, will argue that the state should have no part in defining marriage, and the Church should not seek permission from the government to perform the sacrament of marriage.

The second part of the series will take the opposing viewpoint, that the state has a vested interest in defining and promoting marriage between one man and one woman. That piece will be published within the next week or two.

As always, I appreciate your comments. Ad hominem attacks, and gratuitous swearing will not be allowed.   

It seems that some people may never learn. One would think that after the HHS Mandate, Catholics would be somewhat reluctant to enlist the aid of a government that sends armed men to shut down children's lemonade stands.

But it seems many Catholics are worried about the repeal of DOMA. Apart from the question of whether or not the Federal government has constitutional authority to define marriage (short answer: No), we can see what yet another big government interference in family has wrought. More protests, more resistance, and reinforcement of the assumption that the government should be involved in marriage in some positive sense.

What worries me most is the replacement of DOMA. With the level of agitation we have, and the utter freedom from serious consequences face by our representatives (we are not permitted to resist. Unless we like being arrested for ignoring the commands of our Wise Overlords), I don't believe that popular opinion would be enough to prevent expansion of marriage rights. I find it bothersome that government is involved in marriage, at all. I want it entirely out of the marriage business. It really needn't have the role it does.

I could acknowledge that, on some level, government will have to be concerned with marriage: property titles, child custody, taxes, worker benefits—all the various things into which our government (rightly or wrongly) sticks its nose. And, to me, this tendency should give serious pause to those asking our government to involve itself in social issues. We do not live under a relatively benign, inactive government. We live under the rule of politicians with the mindset of omnipotent moral busybodies. We have, in various locales, governments that seek to control:

· The feeding of the homeless (Houston, TX)

· Private growing of crops for private consumption (Wickard v. Filburn, 1942 Supreme Court)

· Size of soft drinks sold (New York, NY)

· Smoking (everywhere, USA)

· Alcohol sales (they used to shoot people over this)

The Federal government has, of course, already defined marriage. States are free to choose individually. As a Catholic, I don't want states to expand the definition of marriage. But then, states don't limit themselves to a mere definition. It's not even a matter of court recognition. It is (surprise, surprise) a permission slip issuer, with the attendant fees, of course.

It's not too large a fee, if I remember correctly. More significant is the effect on the Church. The Church will not (save under special circumstances) marry a couple without a piece of paper from the government. Imagine if you had to get a Baptism license from the government (I know there are no legal concerns in Baptism, don't bother). Since when does a bureaucrat—a lay, probably non-Catholic bureaucrat—hold the keys to sacraments? In what insane universe could this possibly be a good thing?

That our Church will meekly await a permission slip from the government before bestowing a sacrament should be a warning sign for how far we've gone in elevating the power of government.

There are objections to removing government entirely from the marriage business. In a terribly abrupt transition, I'm going to go to a vaguely Socratic approach to responding to these objections, using panicky strawman opinion that I don't find intellectually intimidating.

Derp

Derpy faces make me laugh, almost uncontrollably.

(image from Chicks on the Right)

New

New on the blog is my instagram feed. You can follow me on instagram, at theranter, if you'd like.

Assumption of the Virgin Mary into Heaven

There are only legendary accounts of the earthly life of Mary, nothing historically reliable. Mary is supposed to have "fallen asleep", passed away (the Christian East calls this feast "the Dormition of Mary", to this day), but the tomb was afterward found empty by the Apostles. The nugget of truth at the heart of the legend, however, is to be found in today's Gospel reading. This has to do with pregnancy and life. Two woman, Mary and Elizabeth, meet. Each is carrying a baby under her heart. When they greet each other and embrace, the babies move in their wombs as if they, too, meant to greet each other.

The mystery of life! No living man has ever come into the world except by being born of a woman, his mother. In spite of all the wars, all the violence and destruction, all the power of death, this mystery of life is still stronger. That is what the faithful felt from an early stage: the body that gave life to Jesus could not simply fall victim to death.

Elizabeth was perhaps the first to have an inkling of it, when she welcomed Mary, her young relative, with the unusual greeting "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!" Since then, people at prayer have reiterated this greeting countless times, whenever they pray the Hail Mary. Mary herself, in the "hymn of thanksgiving" with which she responded to Elizabeth's greeting, said, "Behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed." And all generations since then have in fact expressed their love and gratitude toward Mary. There is no nation upon earth today among which she is not honored. She is no goddess - she is fully and entirely human - but she is blessed like no other human being. For she is, as Elizabeth says in her greeting, "the mother of my Lord". She gave him earthly life, and he gave her heavenly life, for body and soul. Because she is already living with him fully, she is, constantly, full with other people. (Jesus, the Divine Physician, by Christoph Cardinal Schonborn)

3 1/2 Time-Outs Tuesday

1. I know I've been neglecting the blog. Life's been stressful, and I've been lacking for ideas to write, or even rants to write about.

2. But, I've got a two-part series coming up! I've asked two writers to put their thoughts about marriage & the state into a blog post. They're writing from opposing viewpoints, so this ought to be interesting. That will be coming up later this month.

3. This is for Dark Tower fans only: Have you heard that Russell Crowe is in the running to play Roland? Can you believe that shit?  For one, he's too pretty. He's also too short, too fat, and not the right type to play Roland.

3.5. The Digital Hairshirt is one of my new favorite blogs. I don't always agree with her, but that's okay. She's still funny.

Thanks to Larry D for hosting!

The Institution of the Eucharist

The Fifth Luminous Mystery: The Institution of the Eucharist

(Diary 1420)

When I steeped myself in prayer, I was transported in spirit to the chapel, where I saw the Lord Jesus, exposed in the monstrance. In place of the monstrance, I saw the glorious face of the Lord, and He said to me, What you see in reality, these souls see through faith. Oh, how pleasing to Me is their great faith! You see, although there appears to be no trace of life in Me, in reality it is present in its fullness in each and every Host. But for Me to be able to act upon a soul, the soul must have faith. O how pleasing to Me is living faith!

August: The Month of the Immaculate Heart

The physical heart of Mary is venerated (and not adored as the Sacred Heart of Jesus is) because it is united to her person: and as the seat of her love (especially for her divine Son), virtue, and inner life. Such devotion is an incentive to a similar love and virtue. 

This devotion has received new emphasis in this century from the visions given to Lucy Dos Santos, oldest of the visionaries of Fatima, in her convent in Tuy, in Span, in 1925 and 1926. In the visions Our Lady asked for the practice of the Five First Saturdays to help make amends for the offenses given to her heart by the blasphemies and ingratitude of men. The practice parallels the devotion of the Nine First Fridays in honor of the Sacred Heart.

On October 31, 1942, Pope Pius XII made a solemn Act of Consecration of the Church and the whole world to the Immaculate Heart and, in 1944, instituted the feast of the Immaculate Heart to be celebrated as an annual reminder of that Solemn Consecration.

Invocations

O heart most pure of the Blessed Virgin Mary, obtain for me from Jesus a pure and humble heart.

Sweet heart of Mary, be my salvation.

Act of Consecration

Queen of the most holy Rosary, help of Christians, refuge of the human race, victorious in all the battles of God, we prostrate ourselves in supplication before thy throne, in the sure hope of obtaining mercy and of receiving grace and timely aid in our present calamities, not through any merits of our own, on which we do not rely, but only through the immense goodness of thy mother's heart. In thee and in thy Immaculate Heart, at this grave hour of human history, do we put our trust; to thee we consecrate ourselves, not only with all of Holy Church, which is the mystical body of thy Son Jesus, and which is suffering in so many of her members, being subjected to manifold tribulations and persecutions, but also with the whole world, torn by discords, agitated with hatred, the victim of its own iniquities. Be thou moved by the sight of such material and moral degradation, such sorrows, such anguish, so many tormented souls in danger of eternal loss! Do thou, O Mother of mercy, obtain for us from God a Christ-like reconciliation of the nations, as well as those graces which can convert the souls of men in an instant, those graces which prepare the way and make certain the long desired coming of peace on earth. O Queen of peace, pray for us, and grant peace unto the world in the truth, the justice, and the charity of Christ.

Above all, give us peace in our hearts, so that the kingdom of God may spread its borders in the tranquility of order. Accord thy protection to unbelievers and to all those who lie within the shadow of death; cause the Sun of Truth to rise upon them; may they be enabled to join with us in repeating before the Savior of the world: "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men of good will."

Give peace to the nations that are separated from us by error or discord, and in a special manner to those peoples who profess a singular devotion toward thee; bring them back to Christ's one fold, under the one true Shepherd, Obtain full freedom for the holy Church of God; defend her from her enemies; check the ever-increasing torrent of immorality; arouse in the faithful a love of purity, a practical Christian life, and an apostolic zeal, so that the multitude of those who serve God may increase in merit and in number.

Finally, even as the Church and all mankind were once consecrated to the Heart of thy Son Jesus, because He was for all those who put their hope in Him an inexhaustible source of victory and salvation, so in like manner do we consecrate ourselves forever to thee also and to thy Immaculate Heart, O Mother of us and Queen of the world; may thy love and patronage hasten the day when the kingdom of God shall be victorious and all the nations, at peace with God and with one another, shall call thee blessed and intone with thee, from the rising of the sun to its going down, the everlasting "Magnificat" of glory, of love, of gratitude to the Heart of Jesus, in which alone we can find truth, life, and peace.
(Pope Pius XII)

In Honor of the Immaculate Heart
O heart of Mary, mother of God, and our mother; heart most worthy of love, in which the adorable Trinity is ever well-pleased, worthy of the veneration and love of all the angels and of all men; heart most like to the Heart of Jesus, of which thou art the perfect image; heart, full of goodness, ever compassionate toward our miseries; deign to melt our icy hearts and grant that they may be wholly changed into the likeness of the Heart of Jesus, our divine Savior. Pour into them the love of thy virtues, enkindle in them that divine fire with which thou thyself dost ever burn. In thee let Holy Church find safe shelter; protect her and be her dearest refuge, her tower of strength, impregnable against every assault of her enemies. Be thou the way which leads to Jesus, and the channel, through which we receive all the graces needful for our salvation. Be our refuge in time of trouble, our solace in the midst of trial, our strength against temptation, our haven in persecution, our present help in every danger, and especially at the hour of death, when all hell shall let loose against us its legions to snatch away our souls, at that dread moment, that hour so full of fear, whereon our eternity depends. Ah, then most tender virgin, make us to feel the sweetness of thy motherly heart, and the might of thine intercession with Jesus, and open to us a safe refuge in that very fountain of mercy, whence we may come to praise Him with thee in paradise, world without end. Amen.