What do two cheating husbands, and women who have a disconnect between public and personal life have to do with each other? Pretty much everything. We have Mr. Boreanez saying that cheating on his wife was ultimately a bonding experience -- perhaps Mr. Kutcher thought that cheating on his wife would be a bonding experience for his marriage to Ms. Moore. Then we have women who go out to get 'smashed' on the weekends because it is the only way they know how to have fun and let loose...and don't forget about the 'hooking' up.
It all boils down to society's notions of what 'freedom' is.
He now says it made for 'a bonding experience, in the long run' with his wife, a one-time Playboy Playmate. 'In a sacred ground like marriage, you find yourself out of it at certain times for reasons unknown that can be destructive,' the actor, who also starred in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel told TV Week. 'There could be a demon that kind of comes out and overtakes you.' 'Do I believe in giving up? No, I don't. I'm a fighter. I'm a lover,' he said.Well, I suppose that when you have sex before you're married, and live together before you're married, you are bound to need to 'spice' up your sex life after a few years, because the ole spark isn't there. People wonder why there aren't many marriages that last to death (i.e. 50+ years) anymore?
Kutcher, 33, is alleged to have had sex with 23-year-old Texan Sara Leal in a hotel at the end of September – at a time when the actor should have been preparing to celebrate his sixth wedding anniversary with Miss Moore.As I said, perhaps he was just thinking that this would spice up their marriage and help them over the "I'm getting bored with you" blues. On their anniversary, no less.
'We only do embarrassing things when we're really drunk,' Naomi says. 'I kiss random men in the street and Hannah has had sex behind a chicken coop.'
Among them I met teachers, nurses, occupational therapists, personnel professionals and full-time mothers, all determined to shake off responsibility and have fun in the only way they know how. By getting 'smashed'.
I went looking for the answer to the real question: Why? In a series of raw but illuminating interviews, I discovered that beyond the superficial bravado, their nights of booze-fuelled excess make them anything but happy – but they still have no intention of changing. Naomi Jenkins is a classroom assistant from Carmarthen and is adamant that downing sickly Jagermeister shots (which she nicknames medicine) is 'a laugh'.
What quickly becomes apparent is the ease with which these young women distinguish their responsible weekday personas from their 'fun' selves. Naomi easily switches from diligent teaching assistant to Saturday night party girl when she squeezes into a skintight minidress. She tells me: 'I wouldn't do this if it affected my work.'
Occupational therapist Sally Baldwin, 24, added: 'If I bumped into any of my patients or their relatives, I'd hide. It doesn't give off the right image... But as long as it doesn't interfere with my work, I'll carry on.' By splitting their characters into two personas (professional and social), these young women appear confident that their professional reputations remain unblemished. In their own minds, at least.
Eight girls ask me not to use the interviews in the four days afterwards. I agree and have changed several of the names in this article. Tellingly, no one will explain why anonymity is now so important to them but I suspect my presence has blurred the line between weekday and night time and, on returning to their workplaces, they have panicked. Many are no doubt worried that their parents or bosses will find out about just how extreme their Saturday night personas are, compared with the way they usually act as daughters or employees.These women have been sold a lie...a lie that sexual irresponsibility is 'freeing' and 'empowering' but ultimately is depressing and heartbreaking. So to squash the feelings of guilt and depression they feel, they go out and get smashed and tell themselves that it's all in 'good fun'.
But the Truth is written on our hearts, and so no matter how they try to run away from it, they will ultimately keep feeling the guilt of the 'freedom' of this world.
Maybe it's just proof that to every hammer all problems look like nails, but these women getting smashed on weekends sound like binge-drinking alcoholics to me. " 'I wouldn't do this if it affected my work." was an excuse I used for years. Made sense at the time too!
ReplyDeleteIf they're engaging in behavior that would be verboten when sober is another big red flag.
As I said, maybe it's just seeing everything through the prism of my own addiction. But boy, do they ever remind me of a lot of other alkies I've known!