I now have a regular holy hour (or hours, I suppose) at the local perpetual adoration chapel, Saturday mornings from midnight to two a.m., so I'd like to share the thoughts - I hesitate to call them messages from God, though I don't believe they originate from me - that I write down during Adoration. Those thoughts will be in italics. I pray that you find them useful for your own spiritual journey. (I'll always be a week behind, so as to gather my thoughts and bring them into a cohesive post.)
Every time I go to Adoration, I spend some time telling God what my needs are, or what my concerns are, then I ask for guidance, opening myself up to the workings of the Holy Spirit. (Per my instructions from awhile back, any time I am distracted, I pray "Lord, I am but a little child. Teach me, O Lord.")
For my first time in this regular slot, I opened up about grieving my mom, about my temper (or rather, how to control my temper), about whether to attend a function at my former parish, about my children, and about feeling like my faith isn't what it should be, especially in regards to bishops. It turns out that the 'theme' for Adoration was all about prayer (funnily enough).
Have faith in me. Don't worry so much in externals, but start with the basics. Don't worry about attending a lot of extra things - good though they may be - but worry about praying and reading the Bible.
I really struggle with this, because I seem to want to do a lot of things to grow in the spiritual life - except I don't have the basics down. How can I expect to grow in the spiritual life if I don't pray, if I don't read the Bible, if I don't go to Mass? I think what Jesus is telling me here is to not worry so much about 'doing' more things - like the function at my former parish - but instead to focus and concentrate on 'the basics' of faith - and to try not to get caught up in the externals like doctrine or practices even, but to just simply 'be' in His presence sometimes, not to have to be 'doing' all the time.
Family is important. Make an effort. Instead of complaining or grouching, let there be more emptying of self.
Actually what came to mind was when I first started dating my husband, and I would want to stop by and say hi to a family member if we were in their neck of the woods. This took awhile for my husband to understand, because he just didn't get why we would just want to say hi. But I made sure to make an effort, because I didn't get to see my siblings as often. Having a good relationship with our kids and with my husband takes effort - it's not always going to come easily, especially if we're not in practice. I need to empty myself, my needs and desires more, not less, for our family.
About your temper: this kind can only be driven out by prayer & fasting (cf Mark 9:14-29).
Next week's Adoration Saturday will have more on this (remember, I'm a week behind), but suffice it to say that I have a horrible temper - a temper that scares me at times. I really think I should have taken this advice to heart, especially after the week I had this week.
I will be with you always to the end of the age - those who die in me will live forever.
This came at the end of my time with Jesus, because I really just broke down and started to cry. I am fearful to admit, even to myself, how much I miss my mom and how much I don't understand why it had to be now that she died. I really poured this out to Jesus, and this beautiful thought is the result. Jesus will be with me forever, and those who die in Christ live in Him forever, so that my mom and I will never truly be separated. Death cannot separate those who are united in Christ.
Your thoughts, as always, appreciated.
Every time I go to Adoration, I spend some time telling God what my needs are, or what my concerns are, then I ask for guidance, opening myself up to the workings of the Holy Spirit. (Per my instructions from awhile back, any time I am distracted, I pray "Lord, I am but a little child. Teach me, O Lord.")
For my first time in this regular slot, I opened up about grieving my mom, about my temper (or rather, how to control my temper), about whether to attend a function at my former parish, about my children, and about feeling like my faith isn't what it should be, especially in regards to bishops. It turns out that the 'theme' for Adoration was all about prayer (funnily enough).
Have faith in me. Don't worry so much in externals, but start with the basics. Don't worry about attending a lot of extra things - good though they may be - but worry about praying and reading the Bible.
I really struggle with this, because I seem to want to do a lot of things to grow in the spiritual life - except I don't have the basics down. How can I expect to grow in the spiritual life if I don't pray, if I don't read the Bible, if I don't go to Mass? I think what Jesus is telling me here is to not worry so much about 'doing' more things - like the function at my former parish - but instead to focus and concentrate on 'the basics' of faith - and to try not to get caught up in the externals like doctrine or practices even, but to just simply 'be' in His presence sometimes, not to have to be 'doing' all the time.
Family is important. Make an effort. Instead of complaining or grouching, let there be more emptying of self.
Actually what came to mind was when I first started dating my husband, and I would want to stop by and say hi to a family member if we were in their neck of the woods. This took awhile for my husband to understand, because he just didn't get why we would just want to say hi. But I made sure to make an effort, because I didn't get to see my siblings as often. Having a good relationship with our kids and with my husband takes effort - it's not always going to come easily, especially if we're not in practice. I need to empty myself, my needs and desires more, not less, for our family.
About your temper: this kind can only be driven out by prayer & fasting (cf Mark 9:14-29).
Next week's Adoration Saturday will have more on this (remember, I'm a week behind), but suffice it to say that I have a horrible temper - a temper that scares me at times. I really think I should have taken this advice to heart, especially after the week I had this week.
I will be with you always to the end of the age - those who die in me will live forever.
This came at the end of my time with Jesus, because I really just broke down and started to cry. I am fearful to admit, even to myself, how much I miss my mom and how much I don't understand why it had to be now that she died. I really poured this out to Jesus, and this beautiful thought is the result. Jesus will be with me forever, and those who die in Christ live in Him forever, so that my mom and I will never truly be separated. Death cannot separate those who are united in Christ.
Your thoughts, as always, appreciated.
I also miss my mom, I really understand what you are going through. I also really appreciate your sharing your Adoration journal, I never thought to write things down when I am at Adoration, but I have heard some women say they keep a prayer journal...I think it is time I try keeping a written journal...so you have inspired me! :)
ReplyDeleteGood for you, man! For the last 2 years I had a 11pm to 1am adoration shift every friday night.
ReplyDeleteMy last "regular shift" was last night, but I'll find other times to go. I think you'll love those late hours because they're quiet. If it were NOT for adoration, I think my life would probably fall apart.
As far as your temper goes, you will be spending 2 hrs each week with the prince of peace/the great Physician. Good things will come of this!
And of course, I'm sorry about your mom.
ReplyDeletepax,
Pat
Thank you, Joan. My journal isn't an 'Adoration journal' per se, just a journal I constantly carry around with me. The real reason I carry a journal? Because I am too damn absent-minded!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Patrick. I wanted a late-night hour because this chapel (in the daytime hours) is packed, and I love just being able to sit in silence with Our Lord. I know that already Our Lord is calling me more and more to holiness, through this time, and I am thankful for it.