What's that saying about heaven and hell being in the same place; those in heaven feel the warmth of God's love and those in hell feel only the burning?
I think that for the most part, we will catch glimpses of God's face every time we die to self; but that many times we just do not desire to go further in dying to self so that we may see God more clearly. I think, "Well, that was wonderful, but it was just a fluke. No matter what I do, that's not gonna happen again." I don't realize that it is the sacrifice that I make, that makes the flame flare up.
It's so hard to die to self. Why did God make us with such strong free will? We are stubborn people! I am a stubborn fool. How can I throw that stubbornness on the fire, how can I throw my will on the fire when every part of my being is screaming at me not to do it?
Sometimes, I feel such a fool for all the sins I commit, all the people I hurt, all the ways I separate myself from God. It is so easy to say, "Well, just throw it on the fire." But when it comes down to doing it, it is so hard to let go.